1  First I would start of with telling her that she is deserving of all the lov

1  First I would start of with telling her that she is deserving of all the love and respect in the world. Show yourself your selfworth. If he is not capable of showing respect, show yourself and your children you are worthy. 
As for telling the children, I am a firm believer that it is very important to inform them because it can be very easy to get confused as a child as many up and downs, back and forth happen between adults in this moment. Children deserve to know the truth of the matter because it is also their life that is changing entirely but also taking into consideration their age and mantal capacity.A healthy relationship with your ex can help the children process their emotions of all the unknowns of the changes to come. Open communication on changes that are happening can help them easily navigate through daily concerns, emotions and any fears they may be facing. Always showing a united front is key in communicating things about the matter to children, this way both parents know what is being said. Also, allow children to be honest with how they feel at any moment. As a parent one must be minful at the fact that the children have lost their home as they knew and a parent in their daily lives. Children will always need both parents in their lives and keeping them as priorty is first and for most. 
2.When considering whether to tell your children about the reason for the divorce, you should prioritize the well-being of your children. While honesty is important, revealing infidelity could cause emotional distress for the children and harm their relationship with their father. Consider your children’s ages, maturity levels, and emotional readiness to handle such information. Instead of disclosing specific details about infidelity, I encourage you to focus on explaining the divorce in an age-appropriate way and emphasize that it is a decision between the parents unrelated to the children’s behavior or worthiness of love. Reassure them that you and your husband still love them and will remain there for them throughout this process.
Children are fragile during separation or divorce, and maintaining a nurturing, supportive parent-child relationship is essential. To protect the well-being of your children and foster resilience. factors like warmth, effective discipline, communication, and low conflict are the most important. Critical strategies for parents include open communication, empathy, establishing routines, and spending quality time with each child. Ambiguity, especially within divorce, amplifies stress. Acknowledging the divorce as a shift from a single nuclear family to two separate households can help diminish this ambiguity and ease some stress. Understanding what is happening and the divorce process will empower your children to handle the transition better, make informed decisions, and manage their emotions effectively (McGoldrick et al., 2015).
This period is challenging for the whole family, and I understand that this period may be one of the most stressful times for you. However, over the next few months, handling conflicts respectfully, maintaining boundaries, and prioritizing your children’s well-being will be crucial for the well-being of your children. Additionally, when you have healed and decide to engage in new romantic relationships, it is essential to proceed with caution when introducing new partners to your children. Most importantly, take care of your own well-being and seek professional help. A therapist or counselor helping families navigate divorce and its impact on children can offer personalized advice and tailor support to your family’s unique circumstances (Chavda & Nisarga, 2023).