Article from CBC and I did my summary and 3 source for my reaches and Annotated

Article from CBC and I did my summary and 3 source for my reaches and Annotated Bibliography. Need help with my draft essay thesis, main idea and the 3 respond and conclusion. Examples
Sample Outline: Critique of Nath’s “Shame Stopped Me from Learning Hindi as a Kid”
INTRODUCTION
Hook or Inciting Idea: What would it be like to speak a different language than your grandmother?
Background Context: Many people in Canada cannot speak to older relatives because they do not know their language.
Main Source–author, title, one-sentence summary: In “Shame Stopped Me from Learning Hindi as a Kid,” Ishani Nath explains that she did not learn Hindi as a child but now feels that it is essential for her to know as an adult.
Provisional Thesis: Nath’s narrative is relevant and significant today because it shows how language and identity are connected and how racism can affect second language learning.
SUMMARY
Statement of issue/problem, thesis/message, reasons/narrative events: Nath did not learn Hindi as a child because she thought it would make her feel like a foreigner even though she was born in Canada. Language is integral to our identity and how we connect to our family and community. Her mother used to translate conversations between Nath and her grandmother. After her mother died, Nath felt it was essential to learn Hindi.
RESPONSE
(The following are three sample response paragraphs. You only need to write TWO paragraphs in the Research-Driven Critique Essay.)
Segment 1: The first claim critiquing the primary source: Nath effectively shows how language and racial identity are interconnected.
Textual evidence from the primary source: “Canadians viewed me as Indian, Indians viewed me as ‘whitewashed,’ and I was unsure of which community I fit into, or if I fit into any. As a born-and-raised Canadian with Indian heritage, I felt incapable — and, at times, ashamed — of ‘my’ language” (para. 8).
Commentary: Confusion about racial identity is an issue that exists widely among second-generation immigrants. They usually speak two languages and try to meet two different cultural expectations daily. Nath’s recount of her experience reflects the concerns of many who grew up with two cultures.
Textual evidence from research source(s): Todd (2014): “A quarter of British Columbians with ethnic Chinese or South Asian origins say they have experienced moderate or significant amounts of those types of discrimination in B.C. as a result of their ethnicity—four in five reports experiencing at least a small amount of such discrimination” (para. 2).
Commentary: Stereotypes sometimes form against those from a different ethnic background. The language they speak, the food they eat, and the clothes they wear sometimes become the target of attack. As a result, some people decide to stay away from their heritage culture, just as Nath does.
Closing sentence: By elaborating on her personal experience, Nath successfully builds a connection with the audience and sends her message across.
Segment 2: The second claim critiquing the primary source: Nath points out how racial identity can cause second-language learning barriers.
Textual evidence from the primary source: “My heart would race whenever the teacher gave instructions I didn’t fully understand or when they called on me to read aloud. … [W]hen I spoke, the words always felt uncomfortably foreign (para. 6).
Commentary: Learning the host country’s language is a critical step towards integration into the new culture. An encouraging environment is essential for a learner to pick up a new language fast; otherwise, the learner will feel frustrated and ashamed, as Nath feels.
Textual evidence from research source(s): Cohen and Norst (1989): “The diaries also suggest that there is something fundamentally different about learning a language, compared to learning another skill or gaining other knowledge, namely, that language and self are so closely bound, if not identical, that an attack on one is an attack on the other” (p. 61).
Commentary: Language is the channel to express ideas and emotions. It is the foundation of building self-identity. Not being able to express oneself will undoubtedly lead to a lack of confidence, which will cause frustration, isolation, and low self-esteem.
Closing sentence: The mention of the conflict that Nath went through indeed appeals to the audience’s emotions, which helps Nath to drive home her message.
Segment 3: The third claim critiquing the primary source: Nath makes an important statement when she writes that learning Hindi is a way to overcome racism.
Textual evidence from the primary source: “So, maybe how I speak isn’t the issue, as much as is overcoming the internalized racism and shame that kept me silent (para. 39).
Commentary: Some people tend to forget about the significance of their cultural heritage. It is where they can gain confidence and find themselves. Only when they value their culture can they gain a sense of belonging in the new culture.
Textual evidence from research source(s): Norton (2012): “SLA [second language acquisition] researchers who are interested in identity are interested not only in linguistic input and output in SLA but in the relationship between the language learner and the larger social world. They question the view that learners can be defined in binary terms as motivated or unmotivated, introverted or extroverted, without considering that such affective factors are frequently socially constructed, changing across time and space, and possibly coexisting in contradictory ways within a single individual” (para. 1).
Commentary: Learning a new language is a complex process where people learn at a different pace. Understanding their motivation based on their life experience can help remove the barrier on their way to success.
Closing sentence: Nath’s statement raises awareness about the identity issue experienced by immigrants. Meanwhile, it urges society to be more open-minded and accepting.
CONCLUSION
Restatement of the thesis in new words: Nath’s narrative is significant because it shows how some second and third-generation Canadians find their true identity through language, relationships, and community.
New question(s): Does this narrative fit with other Canadians whose ancestors spoke a different language?
Concluding statement: Nath’s article shows that identity is never fixed: it changes with age, relationships, and life events