I created this innovation called chillter which you will read more about and I a

I created this innovation called chillter which you will read more about and I am writting my thesis about it as a Design manager at IED barcelona
I already wrote most of the infos and data but I need more accuracy, structure and..
Here are the comments of my tutor on this deliverable :
Feedback on the 3rd Deliverable (attached).
I general, I see that the weaker area is the research, the first half of the document. Then gets better. But after reading the documents tones of times, I still do not have clarity on why this idea is good and is solving a problem. And I think that’s why the research and evidencing. You have explained to me “I did this and that, I did that event, we received this information” but the way is shown is not convincing. And you need to be bold in defending why chilter is needed, what problems are you solving, why the market needs this, what you have learned though the process, what is your plan, very forcefully. And grounded on evidence.
In general, I do see a need for improvement in these areas:
– information architecture: there are several examples during the document where you mix research content with sales content, mix benefits with outcomes of research, etc.. There is a kind of mixed information where it is really difficult to understand what is the objective, what was done, what was the process, the results, the learnings for the project….is everything mixed (specially research).
– clarity regarding the findings: you should focus on really showing evidence. Through the document, it’s really difficult for me to find strong and clear evidence of the market need, the insights from the users….this should be the starting point and the perception is that you are justifying your decisions more than really researching.
– research depth: there are some pieces where there I’m sure there is much more information and the depth is very superficial.
– the sales/marketing: here you hace all the work done, but you need to defend with attitude. For example: branding. You already have the branding developed and tested. Why is not branding included as a chapter?? The same with packaging, is mentioned but you are not really showcasing the value. The same with your social media feeds. Why are not there? In your case, you do not even need to develop anything.
– be careful with the content, far from being polished is not polished (not worrying as it is still a draft): the content blocks are not introduced, everything is dropped, the graphs are not explained focusing on those key insights you want to underline, different typographies, typos.. Be careful with that.
– language: I’ll avoid the “selling” wording/ vibe, that are absolutely present. You are not selling Chilter. You need to give evidence of why this is a good idea, your problem solving skills, put in value the process you have been developing, your strategic thinking, your decision making, you need to defend, to articulate good responses to the why/what/how, not to sell.