At this point I need HELP, my professor is getting upset, I thought I was do oka

At this point I need HELP, my professor is getting upset, I thought I was do okay but this is the message she sent and attached is the paper along with her corrections. Please reach out to me for any clarifications, I am at the verge of been asked to drop out due to continuous repetition from the professor.
I am writing about diabetes, please free free if you need to work around the topic to a much better one.