This is the proposed title for the research The Impact Of Social Connections On

This is the proposed title for the research
The Impact Of Social Connections On Mental Health: Exploring The Power Of Relationships On WellBeing of teenagers.
Teachers feedback in previous essay part 2
Overall Feedback from teacher
This is a good start. You need to better balance your won work with what you are taking from sources. Right now, it is feeling more like a paper for a scinece or psychology class than an English paper. Don’t overuse the same sources/studies. The tone really changes from the opening to the studies. Work on expanding your detailed, specific examples throughout and including more of your own thoughts.
My goal is 295/300 pls make this an excellent essay I got 205/300 which is bad