I want to send an email to a potential supervisor for my PhD study. I wrote the

I want to send an email to a potential supervisor for my PhD study. I wrote the letter. I ask you to word it appropriately and check the grammar. If you have better words for my supervisor to accept me so that I have academic background and my research skills are demonstrated., please write them down. He modified the my CV and added comments to it. He asked me if I had attended a conference before. aslo he ask me about ,What is the status of the application?