So my question is: How does Khaled Hosseini use the motif of sacrifice in his no

So my question is: How does Khaled Hosseini use the motif of sacrifice in his novel “A Thousand Splendid Suns” to criticize the toxic patriarchal society of 20th century Afghanistan?
I take English A: Literature and Language at Higher Level in the IB and this is my HL essay which is 20% of my grade. I need help in getting a level 7 on this essay. I need atleast a 18/20 for a 7!
I have written my essay, can you mark it against the attached rubric? The goal is to edit it against the rubric for the highest marks on each criteria and make the necessary edits to reach those marks.
I have even attached a sample essay on the great gatsby that received a level 7 (highest level) and a guide on the HL essay for more context.
Can you also add secondary sources, as it helps get criteria A marks when you add critics views on the book. I have a 1500 words and that is the max number of words so you might have to reduce a few words!