Attached is the research proposal. For the proposal, you just need to revise it

Attached is the research proposal. For the proposal, you just need to revise it using the revision notes that are posted below.
“I will start by creating a stronger thesis statement. Secondly, I’ll refrain from using words like “we” or “us”, I always assumed it was bad to speak in first person, but my classmate’s advice say otherwise. Next, I would include non-literary secondary sources. Lastly, I’ll make sure to include my bibliography with the primary literature source. This is the feedback I received from the classmates that reviewed my proposal.”