I need help rewriting or making corrections to my assignment for care of patient

I need help rewriting or making corrections to my assignment for care of patient with complex conditions.
The corrections has been attached below.
The copy of the work i did has been attached and the original assignment brief has also been attached below.
And make sure all learning outcomes are covered.
Don’t forget to use HCPC &AAGBI
Please go through my lecturer’s corrections vividly before starting or correcting.