Every student will be engaging in a helping session with a classmate (if and whe

Every student will be engaging in a helping session with a classmate (if and when possible; if not, a friend or family member) and will be practicing and incorporating the concepts learned from chapters 1-6 (Midterm) and Chapters 7-12 (Final) from the “Learning the Art of Helping” book. The expectation for both assignments is that you demonstrate that you can apply the concepts from chapters 1- 6 & 7-12, in an actual helping session that you will be conducting. The helping session can be conducted with a family member, friend, classmate, etc. This session should take place for about 60 minutes, and your “client” should be presenting an issue that they are experiencing, in which this person would benefit greatly from a helping session.
As you are conducting this helping session, you should be applying the skills presented within the respective chapters. Please note that you should be intentional about presenting skills learned from every chapter. It is hard to assign a specific number of skills to highlight per chapter, so it is up to you to demonstrate the acquisition of knowledge from these chapters. After you complete your session, you will write a paper that highlights all the skills used from the respective chapters. In this paper, you will use a series of examples, highlighting from your helping session, that demonstrate the application of theories and concepts learned throughout the chapters.
Regarding the actual the format for the paper, I would like you all to start with an introduction with some demographics, as well as the presenting issue, about the person you are helping. The next section will focus on the highlights of your session, with examples, regarding the skills you applied from each chapter. Feel free to include subheadings for each chapter, if you find this most useful, to breakdown the paper in a way that demonstrates your application of skills from each chapter. The final section should be a conclusion, which highlights the strengths, weaknesses, and overall reflections of this assignment. I will share an exemplary paper via canvas, this way you get a sense of my expectations.
In preparation for each major assignment, I will email and/or share a sample paper in course announcements (also shared below), demonstrating what the expectations are for the final product. From my experience, the average length of this paper is at about 3-4 pages in length. The assignments will be submitted via a link established in the respective week on canvas, as an attachment. I will NOT accept any email attachments of the assignment, outside of canvas.
Chapter 1 is on how you are going to help the client
Chapter 2 on what relationship enhancing you use
Chapter 3 nonverbal communication between helper and client
Chapter 4 is on paraphrasing
Chapter 5 is on reflecting skills
Chapter 6 getting the client to go deeper
Chapter 7 is how to give feedback
A example of the paper HMS 227- Helping Session #1(Midterm)
Introduction
The person that I will be helping today is a seventy-four-year-old Caucasian woman. Mary M. as we will call her, has come in at the request of her daughter and is suffering from acute depression. Her husband died six months ago from Alzheimer’s. She was the caregiver of her husband in their own apartment home. Along with the toll of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s she has depleted all her savings. She has some health issues of her own and as a result has had to move in with her daughter and give up her apartment. She has been sleeping a lot and has been unmotivated to socialize or get out of the house. She often has periods of crying and melancholy. She is currently taking anti-depressives that her doctor prescribed her but claims they are not working. She feels like her life is over and has nothing to live for.
Chapter 1; Helping as a Personal Journey
I originally asked Mary if she would like to meet in a neutral setting, however since she has severe arthritis, she preferred that we talk at her daughter’s house. I explained to Mary that I was a reflective practitioner (pg. 3) and that being a reflective practitioner means that I am constantly aware of myself, my clients, and their personal view of the world. I may differ from them in many ways but through working together with a true commitment to self-disclosure we can find many useful goals to help alleviate her depression. That as a reflective practitioner I am constantly tweaking my skills, whether it is through journaling, supervision by experienced personnel, and educational workshops to become the best that I can be for my clients. As part of my introduction, I gave her a brief biography of my education and what I plan on doing after I graduate from Reynolds. I then explained to her some ethical guidelines (pg.16) that all helpers agree to follow. I explained to her that everything said in this session was confidential and would not be repeated to anyone. She was concerned that her daughter would worry more if any information got back to her. I also explained to her that I would not impose any of my professional or personal values on her. That I will avoid giving advice and feedback since I am an inexperienced helper. That my primary source of help will be to be a good listener, and pose some questions of reflection and meaning, and that possibly both of us could put our heads together and get a game plan (goals) to help alleviate the symptoms of her depression. I did have to let her know that if a client does talk about suicide or hurting someone else, I would have to let my instructor or supervisor know. As we talked, I let her know that I am sincere (congruence), have positive regard for all my clients and that since I love to help people, I am an empathetic helper.
Chapter 2: Nuts and Bolts of Helping
As Mary and I continued to talk I realized what a nice person she was. She reminded me a little of my own Mother. She was a very soft-spoken woman, and I was glad that we were getting along and thus building our therapeutic relationship. I found out that she had five children one girl and four sons. Her sons live in different parts of the country and were worried about her also. She talked about her husband who was a chemical engineer and how they met at a train station back in the forties. Her husband and children were her life, she never worked, and her only true friends were her sisters who were all gone now. As we talked, I explained to her that I would be interviewing her and that I would need some family history and medical history. She was in good health for her age, she had high blood pressure, arthritis, high cholesterol, and a sluggish thyroid. All of which she was being treated with medication. She did not know of anyone in her family, who suffered from depression. She did tell me that she did not like the word depression, she exclaimed “only crazy people get depressed! “.I explained to Mary the Helping process and its levels-relationship building, assessment stage, goal setting stage, intervention and action stage and evaluation and reflection stage. And with these we would be using the six therapeutic factors to help her. We will build a strong helper/client relationship, increase motivation and expectations for help, enable the client to become more self-efficient, provide new learning opportunities; work on emotional expression and arousal, and practice new ideas and behaviors.
Chapter 3: The Therapeutic Relationship
The therapeutic relationship is also known as the heart of helping. and some argue the most important factor. I was very aware not to push myself upon this older woman. Many women have a harder time even relating to others never mind a middle aged man. So I made sure to be aware of my relationship enhancers. Empathy is the number one relationship enhancer. To me empathy is much more than being sympathetic. Being sympathetic is merely feeling sorry for someone, were as empathy is a step above were you not only feel what the person is going through but have a sincere interest to help that person. Another relationship enhancer is the use of self-disclosure. Self-disclosure will help a client to understand that you are real and that there may be a common bond of understanding. A helper must use self-disclosure very carefully and limit its use. We are to remember the helping session is not about us it is about our clients. With Mary I did self-disclose a little went I explained a depressive period I went through after the loss of a job. I think it comforted her to know that maybe it was ok and that others have had this issue. I also made sure not to come across as the expert on Depression, but a credible source , and explained some of the signs of depression, its intensity and duration and the fact that it is common in today’s world. And I did not press any issues that Mary may have not wanted to talk about. I stayed away from the 12 Roadblock to Communication, with special emphasis on trying not to console Mary too much (which I wanted to do) since her husband recently died.
Chapter 4: Helping Someone who is Different & Invitational Skills
When working with clients who are elderly we must understand the psychological effects of aging on the mind and body. Not only is the elderly person at higher risks for mental and physical problems, but also the economic, social ,spiritual. And cultural changes as well. It is normal for anyone to experience a sense of loss from the death of a love one. When counseling Mary M. I had to be sensitive to the fact that I was counseling a woman. There are certain guidelines to be used when counseling women and as a male helper I am to keep in check any biases and pre-conceived notions that I may have about woman in our current society. Such biases may be that they are weak, not as intelligent (due to the fact that especially older women might not have sought out higher education or employment). I am to educate and use my skills that are particularly facilitative to women, and recognize that sometimes it may be in the best interest of the female client to have a female helper.
When dealing with older persons it is important to realize that older persons have a different set of issues than younger ones. We need to adapt our counseling style to fit the older person’s needs. An example would be if they were hearing impaired, maybe journaling, or expression through art would be helpful. Another key is to know the origins of depression which may stem from the loss of a loved one, lifestyle changes, or health issues. When talking to Mary M. I quickly realized she had all three. Also, older people may have feelings about identity and status changes. Our jobs may be to help them redefine who they are or find new interest to recreate themselves. It is important to realize that each older person has their own unique life story. Using positive invitational skills, good eye contact, body language and position, attentive listening and silence, appropriate space and touching, I allowed Mary to open up, feel comfortable with me, and thus we enriched our therapeutic relationship.
Chapter 5: Reflecting Skills: Paraphrasing
During the counseling session with Mary I used Invitational skills, open and closed questions, and encouragers to allow Mary to express the feelings of her depression and to hopefully highlight the feelings, meanings, and reasons for her depression. I began reflecting to Mary the feelings and meaning that I felt she was trying to express to me. It is important to understand the statement “I felt” when referring to the interpretation of what the counselor is receiving as communication of the client’s message. I was looking for verbal and facial cues to let me know that I was getting it right what Mary was trying to say to me. I was sure to paraphrase, the content in the precise manner for content and meaning. A paraphrase is a brief synopsis of what the client is telling you. It is important for the client to understand that you are listening attentively and getting what they are trying to tell you. From what Mary had told me so far is that she has never had any family history of depression, until the death of her husband. She feels lonely, unmotivated, and useless lately. Before her husband died, she was busy caring for him, taking care of the house, doing bills, and as she said “I didn’t have time to feel depressed. She exclaimed to me that now that I live with my daughter she does everything. She cooks my meals, washes my clothes, and does all of the house work. All I do is stay in my room and watch soap operas. So when paraphrasing her story back I was particular not to add or change anything she said and to keep it brief. I tried to stay away from some of the common problems helpers have with paraphrasing- simply reacting to facts, difficulty hearing what the client is telling us because of distractions, worrying about what to say next, being judgmental and taking the client’s side (this was hard for me to do in Mary’s case), or being judgmental in general.
Chapter 6: Reflecting Skills: Reflecting Feelings
As professional helpers not only is it important for us to work continually at upgrading our counseling skills but it is just as important to be emotionally intelligent. Emotionally intelligent helpers can monitor their client’s emotions and feelings and grasp the true understanding of how their situation has affected them. When talking with Mary I could sense that she was in a lot of pain after the death of her husband (listening with the third ear). She expressed grief, sadness, and loss. I could tell by the way that she talked about him that they had a great connection and love for each other. It is important for us as helpers to increase our vocabularies when it comes to words which describe feelings. It is also important to realize that feelings are expressed differently by different groups and cultures, and that some individuals find it very hard to express their feelings because of their backgrounds and the way they were raised. Easy feeling statements by new helpers such as myself may be as easy as “You feel “or “You feel _____ because” . As we practice and become more articulate with our feeling vocabulary we can add different strengths- mild, moderate, or strong to intensify or soften a feeling we are trying to describe. Some of the phrases I used to show reflection of feelings with Mary were “You feel depressed because of the loss of your husband”. “You feel nonproductive because your daughter does everything and you are not allowed to help”. By the use of the correct labeling and identification of Mary’s feelings, I feel that I deepened our helping relationship, and had shown Mary that I was truly listening and taking the time to understand her hurt and pain.
Chapter 7: Reflecting Meaning and Summarizing
When defining the word “Meaning” the word “constructivism” was defined in the text. Simply put constructivism is that we all define our experiences based on our own world view and beliefs. Like looking at an art picture we will all see something different. A client’s interpretation of their story will reflect their past and cumulative experiences, and may be greatly different from that of the helper. When we understand where a client is coming from we then can get a deeper sense of who they are and how they interpret their issue or problem. If we understand how they interpret their situation we can then maybe help them see it differently, and look at alternatives to change. With Mary it was important to understand that she is an older person who was raised to get married, have children, and be a house wife. She has looked at her life through these rose colored glasses. So change for her might not come as easily as for a resilient young woman in her twenties. I did not have a problem with Mary disclosing or expressing her feelings or emotions. However, when we do have problems with clients who have not disclosed at deeper levels the inner circle strategy is a tool where the helper uses the appropriate questions and reflections of meaning to get to deeper levels of the story. Reflection of meaning is important because a lot of clients are not aware of underlying issues or thoughts. A lot of times they will have an “Ah Ha” moment and make the connection between their thoughts, actions, and behavior. When reflecting meaning a quick phrase tool would be “You feel (specific emotion) because (the facts of the situation that account for the emotion). In Mary’s case a phrase I used to reflect meaning went as this “Mary you feel sad because of the suffering and then loss of your husband”.
Summarizing is used after the reflection of feelings, meanings, and paraphrasing of a client’s story. Summarizing has been compared to the. Untangling of knots. It recaps all that a client has said to include content, feelings, issues and future plans or goals When working with Mary I summarized that she was experiencing depression because of the long illness and loss of her husband. That her life had changed drastically since his death and that her daily activities have stopped since she moved in with her daughter making her feel useless and unproductive. There are several types of summaries which can be used at different times during the counseling session to include the focusing, signal, thematic, and planning summaries. Summaries help the client and helper organize viewpoints and issues in a condensed way.
Conclusion
There were several important outcomes to Mary’s helper session. The first important theme that Mary learned from this experience is that Depression is common and affects people for different reasons and especially for people who have experienced the loss of a spouse and life changing experiences. Mary learned that the meaning behind her Depression stemmed from this loss and also from the feeling of being useless and unproductive. She agreed to stay on her medication and consult her doctor to see if the dosage was high enough. We also worked together to come up with some possible solutions to make her feel more independent and useful. Mary agreed to talk with her daughter and let her know how she felt. Her daughter did not realize that her mother was feeling depressed because of the restrictions she had put on her. Mary and her daughter worked out a plan to involve Mary in some of the household duties she