Please refer to my comment in red bold wording on the bottom of the essay. We feel like definitely more creative writing added to the essay and also engaging readers attention by adding more of his real life experience story. Can you also add some point about Covid pandemic last year and how me and my siblings has to help out my parents restaurants to help them survived the pandemic beside all this past year we have spent quite a lot of time in the restaurant either helping out or finishing up homework as both my mom and dad has to be there at the restaurant constantly. Also can you please add some subtle and very neutral stance about Justin how he is very proud of his heritage and how he supports the Stop Asian movement fro earlier this year.
Thanks,
Please let me know if you have any other questions.
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