I need help rewriting my preliminary draft into my Final Paper. -Attached is my

I need help rewriting my preliminary draft into my Final Paper.
-Attached is my preliminary paper, the feedback from my professor, the rubric, and the syllabus.
– Follow these instructions from my professor to satisfy the concerns below
Christian, everything started smoothly. Then the problematic issues began. Let me say, first, that your writing is
smooth and clear in most places.
However, there are major problems here.
·
First, you have not
done nearly enough research. Each
paragraph must show blended research. Much of the research in this draft is shown in
big blocks. And much of your paper has not been researched!
·
Secondly, where are
the EXAMPLES that make sense of all these ideas? You MUST add them for your paper to be
engaging and sound.
·
Thirdly, you must
work on coherence, on showing how one paragraph leads from the preceding
paragraph and how one section follows from another paragraph.
·
Fourthly, make sure
that all citations and entries are in proper APA format.
·
See other notes
within and contact me with any questions.
Grade Breakdown:
Content, both quality and
quantity: 20/40
Well-written, good grammar and
mechanics: 16/20
Well-organized – Flows well,
headers and headings, page numbers: 14/20
Title page, abstract, and
reference page are present and of reasonable quality : 7/10
In-text references and
reference page in correct APA format: 8/10
TOTAL: 65/100 + 10 points
(early submission) = 75/100