This is from a previous order i made to you and i got a 70/100 on the paper itse

This is from a previous order i made to you and i got a 70/100 on the paper itself and was hoping you could revise it and fix it, i have alink for the teachers critiques from the paper
Link to critique video:

I was just hoping you could go over this and adress the issue with the paper, i would appreciate it.

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