Hello, this is my PhD research proposal and my supervisor sent me some comments.

Hello, this is my PhD research proposal and my supervisor sent me some comments. I hope you will edit the comments in a professional and distinctive way.
I have some feedback from my supervisor, and I would like the writer to make the necessary adjustments for me.
Here are the comments.
Overall, this revised proposal improves on the previous one; however, there is still room for enhancement. It’s important to remember that your proposal will be reviewed by the head of the Graduate Research School (GRS). She is a strict maker. Therefore, we aim to make it compelling and well-supported by evidence.
Please review the attached documents for my comments and suggestions.
Additionally, I have included a Gantt chart outlining a four-year PhD timeline that I would like you to adopt for your study. Please set your start date for the second quarter of 2025.