Change-Experiencing Communication in Our Lives Case Study: The Roommates Apply

Change-Experiencing Communication in Our Lives Case Study: The Roommates Apply what you’ve learned in this chapter by analyzing the following case study, using the accompanying questions as a guide. Bernadette and Celia were assigned to be roommates a month ago when the school year began. Initially, both were pleased with the match because they discovered commonalities in their interests and backgrounds. They are both sophomores from small towns, they have similar tastes in music and television programs, and they both like to stay up late and sleep in. Lately, however, Brianna has been irritated by Celia’s housekeeping or lack of it. Celia leaves her clothes lying all over the room. If they cook in, Celia often leaves the pans and dishes for hours, and then it’s usually Brianna who cleans them. Brianna feels she has to talk to Celia about this problem, but she hasn’t figured out how or when to talk. When Celia gets in from classes, Brianna is sitting and reading a textbook on her bed. Celia: Hey Bri, how’s it going? Celia drops her book bag in the middle of the floor, flops on the bed, and kicks her shoes off on the floor. As Brianna watches, she feels her frustration peaking and decides now is the time to talk to Celia about the problem. Brianna: You shouldn’t do that. You make me nuts the way you just throw your stuff all over the room. Celia: I don’t “throw my stuff all over the room.” I just took off my shoes and put my books down, like I do every day. Brianna: No, you didn’t. You dropped your bag right in the middle of the room, and you kicked your shoes and left them in a mess where they landed. And you’re right—that is what you do every day. Celia: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable in my own room. Brianna: Comfortable is one thing. But you’re so messy. Your mess makes me really miserable. Celia: Since when? This is the first time I’ve heard about it. Brianna: Since we started rooming together, but I didn’t want to say anything about how angry you make me. I just can’t stand it anymore. You shouldn’t be so messy. Celia: Sounds to me like you’ve got a problem—you, not me. Brianna: Well it’s you and your mess that are my problem. Do you have to be so sloppy?
Questions for Analysis and Discussion:
1. Identify examples of you-language in this conversation.
2. How would you change it to I-language?
3. Identify examples of loaded language and ambiguous language.
4. Do you agree with Celia that the problem is Brianna’s, not hers?
5. Do Celia and Brianna seem to engage in dual perspective to understand each other