I am writing to seek your expertise and guidance in revising my college essay. A

I am writing to seek your expertise and guidance in revising my college essay. After reviewing the attached essay, I recognize the need to refine the content, improve fluency, and reduce the word count to adhere to the required 700-word limit. Furthermore, I would greatly appreciate your assistance in enhancing the essay’s overall quality and engaging storytelling.
I believe that your insights and experience will be instrumental in achieving the desired improvements. The essay, titled WHERE FIGHTING MEETS BUSINESS: MY JOURNEY OF LEARNING AND GROWTH, explores the relationship between Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighting and Business administration major. My objective is to present a well-organized narrative that effectively conveys my experiences and perspective while adhering to the word limit.
To provide you with a clearer understanding of my intentions and the essay’s content, I have attached the current version for your reference. While I value the insights I’ve gained from your guidance throughout this process, I believe that your assistance in refining the essay’s narrative and structure will be invaluable.
I kindly request that you focus on the following aspects during the revision process:
Word Count Reduction: The essay currently exceeds the word limit. Please help me streamline the content while retaining its essence and impact.
Fluency and Engagement: Enhance the essay’s fluency and engagement by utilizing storytelling techniques such as point of view, characterization, dialogue, pacing, setting, imagery, juxtaposition, irony, figurative language, and more.
Central Theme: Ensure that the essay maintains a clear central theme without any rambling, unnecessary details, or repetitiveness.
Well-Structured Narrative: Organize the narrative effectively, ensuring that it flows logically and captivates the reader’s interest from start to finish.
Your support will undoubtedly contribute to the essay’s success in portraying my experiences and aspirations effectively. Thank you in advance for your guidance and support.