This is from a CIPS training course. This must relates to CIPS. I have an essay

This is from a CIPS training course. This must relates to CIPS. I have an essay made already (attached) but it was a fail attempt. They have gave me another chance to fix the essay with the attached comments. Please follow the comments on the attached paper in order to fix the essay. The format must be the same in the essay. Must be 3000 words, executive summary and reference does not count.

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