This research paper will base on the notions of borders and trauma in the novels

This research paper will base on the notions of borders and trauma in the novels Jonny Appleseed and Celia’s Song. I had sent the proposal and here is the feedback from my professor. This needs to be fully respected.
The proposed topic for your essay offers a good start to your work, although, as we have discussed, you will want to add a second text to the essay in order to work on a comparative analysis of the works. I have mentioned in past feedback that you need to work on your theoretical writing skills, and there are some examples here that I will point out of phrases that can be cut out entirely or modified using more scholarly language to express your good ideas.
“A vital new voice in Indigenous fiction, Joshua Whitehead bursts onto the literary scene with a highly provocative and memorable debut that speaks truth to power” (1). – this is the type of writing that is common in book reviews. It is informal and is written for an audience that has not read the book. As well, it is not necessarily true. Joshua Whitehead did not “burst onto the literary scene.” Temper your passion for the work by using factual analysis. The idea that it is “vital” is misleading. As a scholar, you need to use language that corresponds to literary criticism, and not use value judgements. You want to explain to your reader the content and meaning of the text, not whether it is good or bad. How does the text speak truth to power? Beyond the cliché of this line, the goal of criticism is to prove that the text functions to produces a particular meaning through representation. In that sense, you want to tell your reader how the content of the text involves a character that must negotiate their queer identity in a social system that devalues them for both their queerness and their Indigenous body. In doing so, they renegotiate their sense of self against hierarchical and institutional racism. That is what you will want to say instead of the above citation.
You do not need to explain to your reader the importance of the primary and secondary sources as primary and secondary sources. You need to explain to your reader what your secondary sources are and how they will be used to support your argument.
I can see where your work is heading, and I highly suggest that you continue to work on the two key notions of trauma and borders. You may also want to link them together by using theoretical sources to weave an Indigenous perspective into your essay. I will also recommend adding Tomson Highway’s work from Masculindians to your bibliography. As the bibliography is rather short for now, you will want to read up on trauma from a First Nations perspective, so source some work from Indigenous scholars on trauma and resilience while working on your paper. Finally, I highly recommend comparing this work to Celia’s Song, by really looking at the concept of borders in its many manifestations – for these two works I would recommend thinking about the different frames of references where borders exist between settler and Indigenous peoples.