This is the Prompt for the admission essay. (Tell us about your educational hist

This is the Prompt for the admission essay. (Tell us about your educational history, work experience, present situation, and plans for the future. Please make sure to reflect on why you consider yourself a nontraditional student and have chosen to pursue your education at the School of General Studies of Columbia University. Successful essays should identify and describe specific elements of the program, academic or otherwise, that meet your needs as a nontraditional student. The admissions committee is particularly interested in situations in your life from which you have learned and grown. This may include past academic experiences, professional accomplishments, or turning points and transformative events: new beginnings and personal achievements, but also events that may have affected your education, such as health and family challenges, personal obstacles or even issues with the justice system. Our expectation is that your reflection on your experiences will demonstrate your potential to add a unique perspective to the Columbia classroom.)
I want to rewrite my essay in more personal narrativ form, a way that demonstrate some my unique identity. I will deeply appreciate if you could elaborate my writing I will attached my first draft of the essay. I feel that the essay lacking a clear idea of who I am now and why Columbia is the next step. I want to specifically say more of my intended major, East Asian studies. If you could mention this in my essay and elaborate it, I will deeply appreciate it. Also, in the essay, I want to demonstrate how I will be able to handle the rigor of the education at Columbia University?
I personally would recommend you start your story when you approach the school alone at 14–it brings together your childhood struggles with your desire for education.
Also, I want to refrain from including random names of faculty and places at Columbia. For example, Low Library is now an administrative building—I can’t study there.